Preface: This is meant to be a companion to another feature. This one is about what advice, perspectives, and habits couples have on love and Valentine’s Day, and the other will be about people not currently in a relationship. 

Love is celebrated in so many ways at Hamden High School. Just walking through the halls will have you witnessing more PDA than you signed up for. I spoke to a variety of people throughout different grades about what love and relationships mean to them. 

Many students said they most appreciated the small, mundane moments that make them feel loved during the school day. Sophomore Hollis said that “just like holding hands and feeling that pressure; that little squeeze,” is one of their favorite parts of their relationship. Sophomore Terri said that their boyfriend always lets him use their vanilla chapstick, since Terri’s lips are chapped most of the time. Terri also said that talking during classes was one of the best parts of their day. “We sit and talk during gym class, it’s the only class we have together. We talk about basically everything.” This sentiment was echoed by a sophomore who asked to remain anonymous, who said that she and her girlfriend try to communicate during their free periods and hold hands in the hallways. She also appreciated how her girlfriend always looks at her with a “gaze so full of love.” Chris, a junior, said that his girlfriend would always be there for him. He recounted a time when his girlfriend showed him how to stretch. “I have really tight hips, and yesterday, she took the time out of her busy day to help me by showing me her dance stretches,” he said. “She had me doing all sorts of straddles!” Chris also enjoys “ walking through the hallways with her, talking about our days and making fun of each other, of course. Can’t forget about that,” he added with a smile. A senior who asked to remain anonymous said, with a laugh, that she liked feeding the bunnies in the courtyard with her boyfriend, “specifically the black one, because the other two are dead.” A sophomore who asked to remain anonymous said that she really appreciated that her boyfriend always came to her track meets and games. Henry, a junior, said that he really appreciates it when his girlfriend sends him a good-morning text. “It’s nice to be checked in on,” he said. 

Food is another way that people like to show affection. Xavier, a junior, said that he appreciates it when his girlfriend cooks for him. “I struggle with eating sometimes, so it’s extra nice, “ he said. “Shrimp pasta and pancakes are the things she usually cooks.” A sophomore said that she and her girlfriend try to share food and “bring each other treats,” throughout the school day. One junior said that she “likes it when he drops off food for me.” 

When asked about what advice they’d give to someone who wants to have a healthy and longstanding relationship, one of the most shared topics was communication. Terri said that communication is key to a healthy relationship, and you cannot have a relationship without open and clear communication. Henry said that you should not let problems “fester.” A junior advised that in a rough patch of your relationship, you shouldn’t tell everyone your business. “Relationships are supposed to be private,” he said. Another junior said that it is important to explain how you’re feeling, and let your partner explain themselves. He also emphasized the importance of not raising your voice when you’re fighting and being respectful. Hollis said that respecting your partner’s boundaries is tantamount to a healthy relationship— not just knowing that boundaries exist but why they exist as well.

There are a variety of plans for Valentine’s Day already in place. Most couples are planning for a low-key dinner at restaurants like Olive Garden or Cumin India, but some are going to New York to visit their partners. Several students described exchanging handmade, personally significant gifts, like handmade bowls, books, blankets, or bracelets. One junior is going to make his boyfriend tiramisu, which is his partner’s favorite dessert. “It is one of my least favorite desserts; I dislike soggy bread, but it’s their favorite, so I’ll make it!” he said.

Taken together, these stories suggest that love is not derived from grand gestures or perfect Valentine’s Day plans, but from routines becoming romantic: shared free periods, early text messages, and the quiet, valorous effort of showing up for someone besides yourself. While Valentine’s Day may offer an opportunity to celebrate, many students find more meaning in the love built in the everyday moments in between.