By Lucius George

Spanish fighting bulls were reportedly set loose in Hamden High! The bulls were caught banging into classroom doors and knocking students off their feet, and the clerks realized no police or emergency service would get the job done. These bulls were angrier than angry! Professional bullfighters and bull riders were called in to remove them…

However, upon realizing the bulls had taken a liking to the principal’s office, a hero ran to the rescue! With a security card and coffee in hand, the one and only Eric Jackson had fought them off with his bare hands.

You may not know this, but he’s got experience and willpower greater than any bullfighter or rider out there! Make sure to shake his hand when you see him next. He just saved all our lives.

April Fools!