The Secret Life of Curt Leng

By Jillian Zaleski 

Warning: Do not take this article seriously, it it merely a joke and made to be amusing

   Curt Leng, our democrat candidate for Hamden Mayor. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Curt Leng, he was voted for mayor when Scott Jackson left office and seeks to continue his time in office. On the outside he seem’s like a respectable man. He wears suits. He’s a politician. What else is there to figure out about him? Well, Curt Leng is not your ordinary mayor candidate.
   For starters, Curt Leng is a werewolf. When he was merely five years old, he encountered one of those dangerous creatures on an evening hiking trip with his father when they went camping. They foolishly hiked during a full moon and young Curt strayed away for only a minute where he then met the werewolf. He was bitten on his left shoulder, where all that remains is a faint scar. Just think about it, have we ever seen him after dark on a full moon? No. Because he’s a werewolf. But don’t be alarmed, don’t grab your pitchforks just yet. He’s just a simple politician trying to make an honest living. He has no evil intentions or ill will towards humanity like werewolves in literature do. If he was, the entire town would have been overrun by werewolves.
   Secondly, he’s had an encounter with aliens. During the NBA blackout on October 23, Mayor Leng had set out into Philadelphia with a small team of FBI agents to hunt down the hostile alien planning to make an attack during the game. The black out was caused by the fighting in the control rooms between Leng and the alien. Leng was there as a consultant due to his werewolfism and an extensive knowledge on extraterrestrials. The reason they told the public it was a rare malfunction was so there wouldn’t be a mass panic. Not even the players or the fans in the crowd knew of the alien threat.
    Thirdly, Mayor Leng has an extensive collection of original comics he plans to publish during retirement. Now, in order to prevent any no good scoundrel from stealing his original ideas, the Dial is forbidden to share the names of the characters, their designs, plots, or character abilities. Mayor Leng began creating his comics as a stress reliever once he begun his career in politics. If he hadn’t, his stress levels would be 20 times what they are now and his hair would likely have fallen out as a result.
   While Mayor Leng isn’t as accomplished as our own Assistant Principal Doc Messiah, he’s still far more than the simple politician we’ve pinned him as. So on Election Day, or the next time you see him, be sure to give him some respect. After all, he did defeat an evil alien in Philadelphia. What other mayor do you know with such an accomplishment?